Optimus Prime and Herman Caine: An Alliance For The Ages
by TimPrime3
Summary: Optimus Prime Meets Herman Caine, a renegade Pizza company owner turned spy who discovers after research that America is in danger not from Team Rocket as once suspected.. but Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter. Optimus and Herman must meet at the statue of Lincolns Toupee to discuss a plan of action.
1. Chapter 1

Optimus Prime Meets Herman Caine: An Alliance for the Ages

It was a cold and rainy November morning, Optimus Prime sat transfixed watching Toonami, when suddenly his Justice phone began to ring. "Well who could that be he muttered to himself..

Rising from his giant recliner, he ambled into his kitchen/missle silo and spoke into the receiver.. "Hello, Optimus Prime residence.." He said swiftly.

"Hello" said a thick, smooth voice. "I have certain information that may interest you Mr. Prime." Optimus gazed around the room shiftily "Who is this!" he cried.. "That's for me to know and for you to find out.. meet me at Lincolns Toupee in Washington D.C. for answers.."

So with that Optimus burst through the ceiling, leaving behind a pile of debris, and flew straight to D.C. to meet the silky voiced stranger at the Toupee of the great emancipator. Landing with a great rumble on the crown of Lincoln's majestic head, Optimus gazed into the night, without warning a figure emerged wearing a long pea-coat and eating a slice of Godfathers Pizza. "Halt! Who goes there!" called Optimus, leering wearily into the cold November air.

The man chuckled, finishing his pizza, "You want answers?" he whispered.. "Well then.. It is I.. Herman Caine. And I have come with a warning. America is in danger.

"America!? In danger!?" shuddered Optimus. "Who is to blame? Team Rocket?"

Herman Caine laughed "Isn't it obvious? It's Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter!"

Optimus shook his head "I should have known.. it's communism again isn't it."

Herman nodded, showing Optimus a newspaper dated the day before with a headline "Obama and Carter Destroy Elderly With Communism Again.

"Well then.. you know what we must do.." said Optimus solemnly. "It's morphin time."

Herman lept into the air, his legs transforming into giant pepperonis, his arms meanwhile, taking the form of a gelatinous cheese substance as he came to rest on Optimus' shoulder, Optimus, however, transformed into a boring truck.

They departed to the secret lair..

To be continued..


	2. Chapter 2

Herman crashed through the large double doors of the O.P.F.L. (Optimus Prime Freedom Labs), throwing large empty crates aside, you know, those big useless crates often seen in action/adventure movies.

At any rate.. Optimus followed, smoke billowing from one of his exhaust pipes, calling "Herman what is it you need in here.. we can fight Communism the old fashioned way: Giant transforming robots and good old fashioned American made Pizza!"

Herman shook his head "Oh Optimus.. if you only knew. They're spreading falsehoods about my Pizza.. they say it's bad for your blood pressure and causes cancer. After winning the 2012 Election, Barack Obama appointed Jimmy Carter the head of his Pizza Watchdog group. Thus, replacing Godfathers Pizza with cheap imitation cheeses and convincing people, through the power of salted meats, that communism and green energy is the only way to survive."

Optimus stood, as a truck, dumbfounded. "So that means…" he began

"Yes." Herman finished. "I am a wanted man." He began to gather supplies and put them in a bag, his pepperoni arms fumbling through a cage of vicious attack badgers, typically used to guard the compound. "We will need these badgers" he said coldly.

"Badgers.. Badgers?! We don't need no stinking badgers…" began Optimus, but he was interrupted at once by a robotic voice. "Attention.. Attenion.. Transmission intercepted."

"Screen on." Shouted Herman as he gazed at the wall, a news report was breaking.

"Thanks Anderton, I'm here at the statue of Lincoln where former candidate and wanted Pizza merchant Herman Caine was spotted hours earlier.. now authorities suspect he was soliciting illegal cheeses to one Optimus Prime.."

"They know!" cried Optimus. "We must act now"

"Shhh!" Cried Herman.

"President Obama and the Head of the Pizza Watchdog Group are here to give a message regarding the sighting.. Mr. President?"

"Thank you Bill.. If anyone has seen Mr. Caine or Optimus Prime please do not approach them, call my cell phone listed at the bottom of the screen and a Pizza destruction force will be deployed immediately. We are in constant contact with members of Team Rocket and their leader Giovanni who also runs a Pizza store inside the National Mall area. He assures me Herman Caine will be dealt with as soon as possible."

"This gives me an idea.." Herman said.


End file.
